Today I’m excited to share a fabulous interview with Mary Geneva and an excerpt of her novel Nicknames. Read on to discover the inspiration behind her novel, a few of her favorites things, and why you will want to go get yourself a copy of her novel Nicknames!
Nicknames by Mary Geneva
There are a million bad dates in the city that never sleeps.
Mary Geneva has been on 999,999 of them.
When she moved to Manhattan in her mid-20s, Mary imagined being single in New York City would be like something out of a Hollywood movie. And it was—a horror movie.
Nicknames is a look at some of the most hopeless, horrendous, and frequently hilarious dates you can imagine. Mary shares her true-life adventures looking for Mr. Right in the treacherous New York dating scene. You’ll meet men so bizarre, their names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Our cast of characters includes:
- Crazy Eyes, who didn’t just resemble an escapee from the local mental hospital, but proved he probably belonged there
- James Bond, the mysterious South African with the secret life
- Germ Sperm, a guy so classy, he actually named himself Germ Sperm!
- And many, many, many more.
Part memoir, part self-help book, Nicknames will have you laughing out loud…and possibly abstaining from dating forever.
Interview with the Author – Mary Geneva
Mary Geneva is a sales professional by day and a serial dater by night. Married at age 21 and divorced at 26, she and her cat Diva were left to learn how to balance their checkbook.
In Nicknames, Mary tiptoes back into the dating pool, accumulating many late night, drunken scraps of paper and text messages, outlining unbelievable—yet totally true—events. Knowing she couldn’t make this stuff up, she stored the memories away, and is finally able to share them with you.
Undaunted, Mary lives, works, and plays in NYC. When not dating, Mary can be found planning her next scuba diving adventure and hanging out with her pets, rescued pup Valentino and kitty Diva.
Mary also charges full speed ahead pounding the pavement, racing marathons and raising money to bring awareness of suicide prevention and outreach programs.
But nothing brings a smile to Mary’s face like her famous garlic roasted mashed potatoes, perfectly whipped mountains of starch, hoping to one day find the meat to her potatoes.
To unwind, Mary is on a mission to create the perfect martini!
1. Would you like to start by introducing yourself?
I’m a sales professional by day and a semi-reformed-hopeless romantic-serial dater by night. Married at age 21 and divorced at 26, my rescued pets kitty Diva and pup Valentino and I were left to learn how to balance our checkbook.
In Nicknames, I tiptoe back into the dating pool, accumulating many late night, drunken scraps of paper and text messages, outlining unbelievable—yet totally true—events.
I have a full time career in healthcare and Nicknames is my creative outlet. I continue to write in the evenings or whenever my schedule allows.
I live, work, and play in NYC. When I’m not dating, I’m planning my next scuba diving adventure and trying to create the perfect martini!
2. What inspired you to write Nicknames?
I would come home after a date and think to myself, “wtf just happened?” It started out with one first date per week, then two, then sometimes up [to] three first dates per week. I got totally sucked into this online dating vortex and with all of the dates I was racking up came some unbelievable I-cant-make-this-shit up stories. I started writing down the evening’s events. After a few years of many first dates and short-term relationships, I had a binder full of emails, text messages and stories. With each story came a different nickname for the guy. A couple of years ago my friend joked around and said I had enough stories to write a book- so I did! I can’t make this stuff up and have met many many women with their own nicknames. It just felt natural to write a book. I conclude that the guy I don’t nickname will be the one I marry.
3. Are you working on anything else at the moment?
The longer I remain single the more stories (nicknames) I acquire! There appears to be a Nicknames sequel on the horizon. I currently have a column in W42ST magazine, which highlights a different date [each time].
4. What is your favorite thing about being a writer?
Being a writer is an escape from the monotony of working a 9-5-office job. It gives me the creative outlet I need and something to look forward to.
5. I can imagine that being an author is a great job, but what’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
The worst job I’ve had was when I was fifteen years old. I was a hostess for like a day in a busy Italian restaurant in the local mall. It really sucked! I quit after less than 24 hours.
6. What are the things you can’t live without in your kitchen?
My olive stuffer! I love olives and they taste even better when stuff with cheese. =)
7. What would we find if we looked in your handbag right now?
About two to three different lip glosses and my MetroCard.
8. Do you have any pet peeves?
Snoring and guys who constantly check their phone while on a date.
9. A few of your favorites…
Favorite color: blue
Favorite food: Mediterranean
Favorite vacation spot: Anywhere that involves scuba diving
Favorite drink of choice: Vodka martini with olives
Favorite animal: dolphin
Excerpt – Nicknames
I ran after him, only to be greeted with a temper tantrum that seemed more appropriate for someone in his terrible twos. My mind was racing. Was he bipolar? Did he have multiple personality disorder? Is this how it all started with Ted Bundy?
He screamed like a man possessed, right there on the street, ranting and raving about how he had taken me out to dinner three times and I had never even offered to pay. This, of course, was wrong, meaning he was completely delusional. More importantly, he was terrifying. He was a full foot taller than me and was screaming as if he was about to cut my throat right there in front of all of Chelsea.
I started to plan the quickest possible escape from what felt like certain doom. He kept yelling, moving on to the fact that I was “expensive” and “high maintenance.” Then, mercifully, he left me on the corner, but only after his unforgettable parting words: “This is why you are beautiful, almost thirty, and ALONE!”
I guess I couldn’t have expected him to put me in a cab to make sure I got home safely given how “high maintenance” I am. I couldn’t fathom what had just happened. Then I remembered he was from Jersey. What was my rule about dating guys from the “outer limits”? I made that rule for a reason: because they’re WEIRD!